26 December, 2007

Happy Boxing Day Everyone!

We are back from Suffolk, covered in a thin film of goose fat.

We did our shopping at the modestly-named Tesco Extra in Ipswich, which sounds as though it is a newsagents sort of a Tesco. but is in fact gigantic. It is a Megatron, an Optimus Prime of a Tesco. It is not so much a Tesco Extra as a Tesco F**k Me.

We walked round the ghostly Sutton Hoo burial mounds on Christmas Eve, with frost crisping underfoot and fog creeping up from the River Deben. Meant to go to the Christmas morning service in Woodbridge, but as luck would have it, Curly woke in the night with a dreadful earache, and wept so piteously that LSS had to take her to Ipswich Hospital on Xmas morning, while I made the Xmas lunch, which amazingly turned out lovely. So no religion for us this Christmas. Listened to the carols from Kings College instead.

Passed a warning sign on the A12 on the way home today: !!! Pedestrians crossing !!!

The A12 at that point is 4 lanes of traffic steaming along at super-70mph speeds. I would have thought what they really need is a sign saying !!! Pedestrians: if you plan to cross here, make your wills now !!!

Or an underpass. But I daresay cost is a consideration. What the council should do is string a couple of stout ropes across the A12, suspended from a pair of trees (or they could put a couple of posts), one above the other (the ropes, not the trees), plus a little pulley attachment for your shopping. That way pedestrians could get from one side of the A12 to the other no less dangerously, plus it would be more fun AND they wouldn't have to wait for a gap in the traffic, so it is also more efficient. I'm surprised the council haven't thought of this already. Maybe I will write them a letter suggesting it.

I notice something curious on the Airbag warning sticker pasted on the back of the sunvisor in the Prius. (1) The word for "airbag" in English, Dutch, French, Spanish, German and Italian is "airbag". (2)In the Latin languages, they warn that misuse may result in "serious injury, or even death". Whereas in the Germanic languages, misuse results in "death or serious injury". Why the reversal? Is it because the northerners like to hear the bad news first?

It was quite a dull journey back from Suffolk, as you can tell.

On our way through Bromley saw a Chinese takeaway with an excellent name: Kungfu Kitchen. It's mellifluous, descriptive and also carries a subtle hint of a threat, for anyone foolish enough to think of running away without paying for their chicken chow mein.

6 Comments:

Blogger 962 said...

Happy Christmas
As is my wont I was amused at a charity in Hong Kong that claims to look after the alive single old person. Clearly translated from the original Chinese by a cheap computer programme.

Personally I would feel more generous if they were looking after the dead ones first, instead of letting them fester in the back room.

The A12, know it well, and Suffolk, a land steeped in the 1960s, but fb you cooking! was this for the English person exam.

1) Explain why people in the UK eat Turkey when its soooo dry. (NB actually I presume you ate goose, there is a lady in Suffolk somewhere who does a nice line in free range Geese, was it one of them?) By the way, Goose consumption will or may lead to failure of the Brit exam.

Its got to be Turkey and vegetables cooked to within an inch of their life in Jamie Oliver Saucepans. Innit

1:26 am  
Blogger Songshards said...

Loved the post (the one you wrote not the one you plan to plant at the side of the A12). Happy day-after-boxing-day!

2:09 am  
Blogger fumier said...

I seem to remember you got yourself covered with goose fat last year, Phiz. Does LSS get to lick it off?

6:04 am  
Blogger bobbie said...

Poor Curly. What was the cause of her earache and did it go away quickly? I hope Christmas dinner took away some of the throbbing.

11:13 am  
Blogger Andrew said...

I am shocked that Fumie has not reacted to the word "throbbing". Fumie, you are awful, but we like you.

12:33 pm  
Blogger FBT said...

we have some extra goosefat here if anyone needs it to assuage the throbbing

6:05 pm  

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