29 February, 2008

A Rather Annoying Supermarket

If there's one thing that gets my goat - okay there are lots of things that my goat, but this is one of them - it's the way Waitrose can't just label its products capers, or mustard, or whatever. No, it's got to be "A Spoonful of Capers" or "Go Easy on the Dijon Mustard". What's wrong with them, the blithering idiots? I just want to buy some capers, I don't want to indulge in a little bit of self-congratulatory middle-class bonding with you - you're a supermarket, you're not my friend.

LSS and I had been yodelling in a duet of Waitrose-abuse for some few minutes in this strain when Larry said thoughtfully, "I wonder if everyone else feels like that."

Apparently she thinks this is not a subject worthy of prolonged dissection at the dinner table.

On Wednesday morning I went to the From Russia exhibition at the RA - it was a corporate members session before the show opened to the public at 10am. Unfortunately I had completely forgotten about it, so I got into work as usual at 8, booted up the computer and started to tuck into my porridge and maple syrup. Opened my e-mail and immediately got a reminder about the exhibition. So I had to drop everything and whizz across to Green Park on the Jubilee line. Nice exhibition - great portrait of Anna Akhmatova oozing charisma, and a dazzling Kandinsky. Got back to my desk at 10am and ate my cold porridge, which had set and was now in a condition to be carved with the spoon into fantastical ice-sculptures.

We had a note round today setting the minimum criteria for people we are considering hiring. I won't say what they are, just that, if those are the minimum criteria, I would say 90% of the people in my department don't currently qualify to be working there, including myself, and in fact the former chairman of the organisation. If we are currently hiring people just because they are capable of putting sticking plasters on their knuckles when they get all red and raw from scraping along the ground, it is not because we have very advanced equal opportunities programmes, but because those god-like creatures who meet the minimum criteria are mysteriously not presenting themselves to us as candidates for employment.


Blogger fumier said...

"Former chairman" .. you're getting diplomatic in your old age, Phiz.

2:21 am  
Blogger Icedink said...

For shopping without the make-you-feel-righteous fripperies, I recommend a family outing to Deptford market where the $Phiz will go a good deal further than in Waitrose.

Wonder what Kandinsky was taking to make him paint the way he did?

2:50 pm  
Blogger dgny said...

A rather annoying lack of posting, is what I say.

But besides that, I don't understand why they don't call a spade a spade. And the work thing? AAAARGH! I get that all the time from Euro companies - I must be trilingual? REALLY? Are you? NO? Oh, so you can't hire me, WHY? Oh right, because I'm a bitch. Right. Fair enough.

11:00 pm  
Blogger fumier said...

Phiz is a real slack Alice.

6:57 am  
Blogger 962 said...

God I hate Corporate this and Corporate that. They sponsor a bloody exhibition and believe it gives them a bloody right to close the exhibition they have paid a little bit to stage and go on the piss with their other bloody piss artist freinds. Same in bloody football. FB you should be ashamed that you go to such corporate arse licking shows, even if it means standing in the cold with the rest of shivering humanity.

I still love u though

Word recognition miowm

2:47 am  

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