23 September, 2008

Nightmares

Had a horrible dream where I found out that in fact instead of buying the house I thought I was buying, it turned out that I had actually bought a flat in a horrible new development that had simply been designed so that it looked like the house but outside it was just a horrible flat at "236 Balham Road", wherever that is. LSS, in the dream, said unconcerned, yes, you knew that, it was in the contract. I was speechless.

I woke up all of a lather and lay there in the dark convinced it had actually happened until gradually the fog of unreason lifted and I realised that it was very unlikely that any developer actually would build a block of flats with one designed on the interior to be exactly like that of an utterly distinctive 200 year old Georgian house.

On a different subject, why in the name of God do women buy thongs? I am sick of the sight of all the wobbly bottoms in the women's changing room at the gym. It looks bloody ridiculous and about as sexy as a blancmange.

LSS called Tiscali today to try to get our phone number and broadband transferred to the new house. Oh no, says the long-suffering Scots woman on the end of the phone. You have to terminate your line rental with us, move back to BT, move the line rental with BT to the new house, then re-apply to us for your broadband once you've moved into the new house. This will take at least 10 days once you've moved into the new house. LSS said a number of things, the general theme of which can be summarised as: what the f**k kind of stupid system is that? The Scotswoman declined to comment. How different from our own dear HK where, when you call up to arrange your broadband connection, practically before you have put your phone down, a little man is standing outside your flat calling you on his handphone to ask whether it is convenient for him to come and install your broadband now.

10 Comments:

Blogger Tiny said...

I prefer thongs when wearing tight fitting pants because that would avoid showing panty lines.

It sounds like Tiscali need to hire some industrial engineers to improve the efficiency of their operations.

2:00 am  
Blogger ulaca said...

Careful, Tiny - fumie reads this site.

2:12 am  
Blogger FBT said...

the whole of Britain needs to re-engineer its processes to improve its efficiency.

5:52 am  
Blogger SMW said...

Wasn't that what opening up the telecoms market was all about?

Anyway, just wait until you try and find out who your electricity/gas suppliers are ... Predict more colourful language from LSS.

6:36 am  
Blogger FBT said...

just because you have to make your power by feeding Slovenian Mountain Man beans...

7:33 pm  
Blogger fumier said...

Tiny, isn't wearing thongs a bit like flossing?

2:02 am  
Blogger dgny said...

I have thongs but I agree, they're useless. I mean really, for all the *function* they perform, you might as well go commando. Unless, as Fumie points out, you need a floss.

I'm glad I didn't have your dream. I had a lovely dream about snogging my boss. In fact, it was so marvellous that I no longer want to snog him in real life, since there's just no way it could be better than the dream.

2:11 am  
Blogger FBT said...

If only you could have those dreams to order. There are plenty of men at work that I wouldn't mind dreaming about snogging, and instead all I have is miserable house anxiety dreams. As the Malaysians say, where got meaning one?

9:21 pm  
Blogger Tiny said...

Pants with zipper + going commando = Pain

Ulaca: Thanks for the reminder ;-)

1:23 am  
Blogger ulaca said...

Careful again, Tiny, he recently changed the name of his site to "Unzipped".

By the way, it's a pity you'd already taken that moniker, as it would have been fumie's first choice too, so I'm told.

He's a very truthful sort of fellow beneath all the bluster.

8:33 am  

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