23 October, 2010

Train Squash

I got onto the train the other day at Clapham Junction and there were no seats other than in one row of five, which had just four people sitting in it. The empty seat was between a very fat woman and one of those men who likes to sit with his legs wide apart to show what an incredibly large package he has. So I thought, I'm damned if I'm going to stand up all the way to Waterloo, just to accommodate your greed, on the one hand, and to pander to your illusions, on the other, so I squashed myself in between them. It was an extremely tight fit and neither one of them gave a fraction of an inch - you know how people normally shift up a bit if things are a bit tight on the bus. They obviously bitterly resented my crimping their commodious accommodation. And I bitterly resented their wanting to take up more space than they were entitled to, even if it meant other people had to stand. So we all three sat there, seething cores of resentment, all the way to Waterloo.