11 March, 2011


I went to the dentist on Tuesday.

He asked me if I'd decided whether to go for a bridge or an implant with my upper left molar. As it happened, just the day before I'd been reading in the Telegraph about how implants are better because they stop your jaw from deteriorating, although they are more expensive, so I asked him to confirm that.

'Didn't they talk you through that when you had your last implant?' he said.

'No. I didn't think I had any implants,' I said.

'Of course you do,' he said. 'Look at your X-ray.'

I looked. Indeed there appears to be a large screw in my jaw.

'Huh. You'd think I would have noticed that,' I said.

'You must pay more attention,' he said. 'Now for today's procedure, I'm going to have to use electricity to stop your gums from bleeding. I have to ask this: do you have a pacemaker?'

'No,' I said. 'I don't know. Maybe I do.'

'Stop that,' he said.

He then proceeded to drill too close to my root, skirting around my pain threshold most distressingly.

That wasn't a good day.


Blogger mango said...


But did he confirm what you read in the Telegraph?

The dentist asked me when was the last time I had a check-up.

I said, "I don't remember."

He and the assistant looked very pained.

2:11 am  
Blogger dgny said...

Hmmm, it appears to be genetic....

1:34 pm  
Blogger gilamonster said...

I can vouch for the genetic thing. I went 18 months ago because my filling fell out. But I'm pretty sure I don't have any implants. I would have remembered the pain to my purse.

7:03 am  
Blogger Foamier said...

"He then proceeded to drill too close to my root, skirting around my pain threshold most distressingly."

Only you could make a visit to the dentist sound erotic, Phiz.

(Although I used to visit a buxom dentistette on Wyndham Sreet till she screwed me [on the fees].)

4:36 am  

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